...begins with a single step. Again.

2011-01-07T13:29:00.005-05:00

I started this blog last year to assist in my weight loss. I failed miserably.

Here I am again. And here is the first post I wrote way back when. It is all still very fitting today; except that my son is now 3. The clock keeps on ticking...

"I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I was never the biggest girl in class, but big enough to not fit into the kinds of clothes my friends wore. Big enough to know I wasn't thin. Big enough to know that I just wasn't quite the same. I liked my body and "kind of" accepted it. I say kind of because I didn't hate my body, but I never loved it either.

Years later, I struggled with an eating disorder (bulimia) and yo-yo'd up and down from 170 lbs to 130 lbs and back up to 160 lbs. It was literally a diet roller coaster. I wanted so desperately to just fit into a decent pair of jeans. Was that too much to ask? After all, a decent pair didn't come in my size. Designers don't do fat; at least not as fashionably forward as they do skinny.

Fast forward to my 30s and a c-section later. I gained 50 lbs during my pregnancy and have yet to lose any of it. My son is now 2, no longer a baby. Add to that a constant battle with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and what you have is a woman usually depressed about her looks. I once loved shopping. But now? I avoid it.

So why now?

Well, it's just time. I am tired of not ever finding clothes in my size. I am tired of not being able to breathe when I walk up the stairs. I am tired of not wearing a bathing suit to the beach. I am tired of the acne and oily skin. I am tired of appearing lazy to the rest of the world. And, most of all, I am tired of walking on this path of self-destruction that can cause me to live a much shorter life than I would like.

Sooo...that said, I have taken my first step. The journey begins now."

A journey of a thousand miles...

...begins with a single step. Again.